YOU CANNOT SILENCE ME!!!

If I choose to remind my ex husband Keith R. Sadler and that horrible State Trooper Anthony E. Suber, for the physical damage you caused to my vision....I will do so. I cannot even go to a game and feel frighten because I cannot see the massive amount of people coming towards me....You damage my sight but...I am a amazing person who cares and loves my SURVIVORS, who loves people period!

Rosaura Torres - Author

"Abuse Hidden Behind The Badge"

WHERE IS OUR ACCOUNTABILITY

Tonight I had the honor of shaking your hand at the community meeting in May Fair.  Sadly, I was not able to share with you the horrible issues many survivors of Police Officer Involved Domestic Violence.  Where is the require help from other fellow officers and from the Justice System in our courts.  Many are afraid to come forward.  Fifteen years ago, I tried and begged for help.  My cries went on death ears but....Now as a activist I refuse to keep silent.  

Please Mayor Kenney, hear the cries of the victims who, continue to live in fear.  Give us ACCOUNTABILITY, many are aware but are afraid to come forward.

Be bless,

Sincerely,

Ms. Rosaura Torres-Sadler

AFRAID

THIS LETTER WITH SENT TO ME BY A SISTER SURVIVOR

By Lorraine

This letter is written on behalf of the many women who suffer the wrath of Domestic Violence in silence while being married to men in positions of "Authority".

I was compelled to write this letter after sharing my dirty little secret with a neighbor. Asking her to call for help if she heard me or my child screaming. She replied "I too am married to a man of position in the City as you know and unfortunately nobody knows I that am going through the same situation.....".

When a police officer, fire fighter, or military person gets hurt or dies the union, city, and peers rally together as they should. We are told that we (the families) will be forever in there care should the need arise.

But what happens when Domestic Violence occurs in one of our families? I can first hand from experience tell you not much. As a matter of fact the amount of fear one has reporting to the police is probably more terrifying than a blow to the head from your abuser.

My spouse has been mentally, physically, and economically abusive to myself, my son, as well as one of his own children for several years. Over the years he has gotten away with drunk driving, speeding while drunk, and assaulting me.  I called the police to my house twice and the very first time my husband knew I called the cops so he ran upstairs and put his uniform tee shirt on making the police know when they arrived that "he's one of us". After pleading with Cop #1 to remove my husband from the home because he is threatening me and hit me. I hear my husband and Cop #2 upstairs laughing. I knew then that " I can't fight him" " He has too much protection!" My best bet is to never call them if I can just endure the abuse.....maybe he will stop.  I was a muffled voice I became smothered by his powerful brethren, and Prestigious Law Firm that only he can use in a Domestic situation or divorce. But I thought I was family? I'm in trouble and don't have as much money as he does especially after being controlled financially for years. I don't trust the police. I am powerless. I don't follow through with the PFA's because I'm AFRAID!

The next time I called the police a year later than the first incident unfortunately the same two cops come and the first thing one of the officers  says to me is "You again" while he is watching my husband go into my car at the end of our driveway and dump my purse out and take my phone! The Cop told me "that's marital property". I'm lost. Again my voice is muffled. I'm ashamed. I'm angry and who is gonna help me against "the authority"!

My enough is enough was when he hit my son with intent to harm him while drunk. DHS got involved. He was indicated as a child abuser but is using his big Law Firm to fight it because once a narcissist always a narcissist. We were never to speak about what terror went on in our home. And since Dhs was involved it made the inside our my house the greatest hell on earth. Because someone believed us someone wasn't afraid of his shiny badge and white shirt. He wore his uniform in court as well as DHS meetings to intimidate and to call on favors from those who consider themselves peers. When I tried to have my husband removed from my home and have him served the police officer did serve him but failed to give me the document needed to take to our court hearing. After I specifically asked for the document he had in his hand he said I didn't need it. I know read that I needed that document of service in the PFA packet. As soon as I arrived in court the court officer asked for said document and asked me why did I not follow the instructions in the packet. I explained what the Cop said and finally we had the hearing where my husband was praised by the judge for physically disciplining a child in a place no one should be hit ever! The judge continued to scold me and my son who has not ever had even verbal confrontation his entire life. Telling my son that he is a "guest in my husbands home and if he tells you to do something do it". She told me that she hoped I wasn't trying to use this court to have this hardworking man evicted from his home. He is standing over there in court lying and taking pride in hearing this judge and his big time lawyer slaughter my sons character.

My voice is muffled. I'm powerless.

I'm no longer a member of your City family or union family because I want to fight but I'm afraid. I'm exhausted with fear!

I propose that the wives of police,fire, politicians and the like have access

to a dedicated unit for Domestic Violence where we can go and report abuse and obtain PFAs without having to deal with "one of their own" reducing fear and elevating trust and possibly preventing the worst outcomes. Our spouses have quicker access to firearms especially if they have military background such it is in my case.

I also propose that the Unions revise their policies in the event of proven  Domestic Violence of the wife and children the City and

Union cover the Wives legal fees especially if she is financially unable to do so. I heard the word "conflict of interest" the conflict is that I thought I was your family until I decided to speak up and get out. The greatest conflict would be me in a shelter or death simply because I didn't have the money to fight " The Authority".

I also propose that stringent ramifications be placed upon any officer or fire fighter who is found guilty of using favoritism towards "his own" in situations such as my own. And also using his badge or uniform to sway judges and peers resulting in the victims being shamed and tossed out just because

This poor man puts his life on the line for his country and his city he couldn't be who SHE and this PFA says. Also appearing in court or personal family matters with the state in uniform.

I AM NO LONGER AFRAID TO SAY THAT I AM A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND SO HAVE MY CHILDREN! We need help! NOW!

"THANK YOU HBO"

As I sat and watched the HBO Documentary “The Latin Explosion: A New America” I have never been more proud of my people from all Latino Countries all over the world. 

I have never forgotten where I came from and how proud I am of my parents for always being there for all of us, no matter what.

With a poor and humble background and never losing my pride in myself I will continue to thank those who have supported me through my journey to continue to speak and not to carry any shame for releasing “Abuse Hidden Behind The Badge and the Spanish version “Abuso Escondido Detras De La Placa.”

May our God continue to bless all of you!!!

By Rosaura Torres - Author

"CHANGED DOMESTIC VIOLENCE LAWS"

For years now many of us have been

speaking out against Police Officer Involved 

Domestic Violence and Domestic Violence. 

Unless the laws are changed, yes CHANGED 

no "one" is safe. We do have laws but the 

laws are not being enforced. 

Continue the fight my sisters and brothers

against the INJUSTICE!!! 


Be bless!

Rosaura Torres - Author

"Abuse Hidden Behind The Badge"

HELPING TO EASE THE PAIN

HELPING TO EASE THE PAIN

Police officer involved Domestic Violence is and continues to be a plague out of control…each and every time I turn around I see another fallen sister or brother. 

I see my wonderful sisters standing strong and speaking out!!!  Clara Colon, Nancy West, Sherrine O’Brien, Jennifer Cundiff-Graves, and Patty OConnell so many that I have lost count.

Today I carry my head a bit low, any kind of Domestic Violence is a pain we are all trying to help ease. 

We are all activist fighting for JUSTICE!  Remember this my sisters and brothers.  We are in this together, it is not an I AND ME.  IT IS “WE!!”

Be bless and be safe always,

Rosaura Torres - Author

EMAIL TO GOVERNOR WOLF OF PENNSYLVANIA

Rosaura Torres‑Sadler

PHILADELPHIA, PA 19152‑2219

October 1, 2015

The Honorable Tom Wolf
Governor of Pennsylvania
225 Main Capitol Building
Harrisburg, PA 17120

Re: The Budget Impasse Hurts Victims and Service Providers

Dear Governor Wolf:

In October, during national Domestic Violence Awareness Month, lives will be at risk across the commonwealth as victims in crisis lose access to domestic violence services due to the state budget impasse. The time to agree to a state budget has come and gone.

Please urge your caucus leadership to end the budget impasse and consider additional revenue that invests in all human services for the long term, including supporting survivors of domestic violence.

The Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence conducted a survey to demonstrate and gauge the impact of the impasse on the 60 domestic violence centers serving all 67 counties. Responses from centers serving rural, urban and suburban counties revealed:
 ‑All centers are using credit cards and reserves to keep serving victims. Many have already begun using lines of credit.
 ‑Seven centers anticipate running out of funds in October and 16 more will run out of funds in November. All 60 centers will run out of reserve funds by the end of December.
 ‑Likely the first centers to close their doors will be in rural parts of Pennsylvania with limited resources and counties where one center is the only domestic violence service provider. In some cases these centers are the only victim service provider for sexual assault victims as well. The responsibility to perform these vital services will shift to law enforcement and court personnel.
  ‑Across the state, centers with vacant positions have frozen hiring processes to ensure current staff will continue to be paid. At least 19 centers anticipate furloughing staff.
  ‑One center serving northern rural counties has been forced to furlough staff already. Meanwhile, staff at a suburban southeastern center have agreed to volunteer for the month of October in order to keep serving victims.
 ‑At least 25 centers have curtailed providing supportive services including: prevention education programs, children�s advocacy services, medical advocacy services, food pantry services, and relocation funds for victims.

The lack of resolution to the overall budget is putting lives at stake. On behalf of the thousands of victims served by domestic violence centers every year in Pennsylvania, please end the state budget impasse now.

Sincerely,

Sincerely,

Rosaura Torres‑Sadler

"THE POWER WITHIN"

Lately I have been doing a lot of soul searching. After sitting here for day's watch Pope Francisco coming to Cuba, Washington, DC, New York and Philadelphia. I realize that I must and will continue to help other survivors. 

Many may feel our Legal System has failed us but...I will not give up helping others. As our Papal said "They will one day be held ACCOUNTABLE." I believe our God will do just that but until then, I will continue to stand strong and help my sisters and brothers survivors. 

Thank you!!

Rosaura Torres Author
"Abuse Abuse Hidden Behind the Badge by Torres, Rosaura

"BLACK DOT CAMPAIGN" - SURVIVORS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

The black dot on the hand lets professionals 

know you're a really vulnerable domestic 

violence survivor, and that you need help but 

can't ask because your abuser is watching your 

every move. In just 24 hours, the campaign has 

reached over 6,000 people worldwide, and

has 

already helped 6 women. Please spread the 

campaign, and post a picture of your hand with 

the black dot, to show your support to all 

survivors of domestic violence.

‪#‎blackdotcampaign‬ ‪#‎speakout‬ ‪#‎someoneyouknowneedshelp‬

https://www.facebook.com/blackdotcampaign

"OUR CHILDREN"

“OUR CHILDREN”

My heart is heavy today I often questioned myself “why did my parents worry at the end of their life here on earth why were they so concerned about their children”. I would say “Don’t worry we are all adults, we will be okay.”

Now after so many years my wonderful parents going home to the Great Spirit I understand! I know my children are all adults but….I do worry.

Each and every one of us want our children to find that great person to share the rest of their life with…We want them to be loved and respected.

Pray for all the parents who watch as some of their children suffer. It breaks my heart not being able to heal there, boo boo.

God bless all my family and friends.

Rosaura Torres – Author

"Abuse Hidden Behind The Badge”

COLON CANCER - COLONOSCOPY

For some time I have putting off to have a medical procedure done out of fear of what they may find.  I remember over sixteen years ago my father became very ill and I was so concerned that I may be having the same problem. 

So let me get to the point…for all my friends and family when you arrive at that age…please I beg you to get your Colonoscopy done. 

Our GREAT SPIRIT was watching over me.  I am in good health.  Dr. Menin at Einstein Healthcare Network on  Bustleton Avenue and the entire staff and I must mentioned them by name, Bob, Karen, Terri and wonderful Marie who was so kind because I hate IV’s LOL.  Marie the intake receptionist…To all the wonderful doctor’s and staff that looked over me…Thank you a million times. 

So my friends and family…Colon Cancer affects both women and men…I pray you are blessed to find such great and caring people as I did at Einstein Healthcare Network.

May the Great Spirit bless each and every one of you!!

Rosaura Torres – Author

“Abuse Hidden Behind The Badge”

GOD PLEASE HELP US

HOW IN GOD'S NAME DOES THIS WIFE BEATER AND CHILD ABUSER GET HIRED BY ANOTHER POLICE DEPARTMENT WHEN HE WAS ASKED TO RETIRED FROM THE GLASCOW, KY POLICE DEPARTMENT...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH OUR SYSTEM...DON'T ANY OF YOU COMMUNICATE WITH ONE ANOTHER!!!

So many of us beg our justice system to help us and we are ignored.  Why do many police department continue to hire abusive cops...?!!!!!!!!

We cry, you do not hear us, we beg, you do not hear us, we die and you still do not hear us.

I will not stop speaking out, I will continue to help and support my Survivors of Officer Involved Domestic Violence.

Rosaura Torres - Author

"Abuse Hidden Behind The Badge"

AMAZING SURVIVORS - OFFICER INVOLVED DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

AMAZING SURVIVORS - OIDV

I needed to post two wonderful comments I received by two of my SISTER SURVIVORS!

There are times we Clara Colon, Nancy West, Jen Cundiff Graves, Sherrine O’Brien, Patty Oconnell and many other survivors, would rather hide away and disappear from all the negative remarks we receive because we refuse to keep silent…But….then I receive powerful comments from amazing, dynamic women!  I know many feel we are bitter but that is far from the truth…WE WANT ACCOUNTABILITY AND YES JUSTICE.  Continue to stand strong, we are shining through that horrible tunnel of darkness.

May the Great Spirit always protect each and every one of you!

Rosaura Torres Author – “Abuse Hidden Behind The Badge.”

I received this beautiful comment, I could not help but share this....Be bless my awesome family and friends.

Nancy West

September 6 at 11:22pm

Rosaura, My psych was clueless about OIDV... No matter what I told her, she was never nice to me and told me to stop "what I'm doing". She thought I was making it up and almost gave me a false diagnosis. I gave her my copy of Abuse Hidden Behind the Badge and saw her a month later, which happened to be two days after the rally at the Capitol.. You'll never guess how compassionate and understanding she was. She finally agreed to help me get the disability I need per my PTSD, and depression. On top of that I couldn't work anyway because they tell every employer to fire me and get them to stop payments on my checks, so I really needed her cooperation. Thanks to you Rosa, your bravery, and your book, I might be saved from certain homelessness. I am eternally grateful to you my beautiful sister my heroine ❤❤❤❤❤[?]

I AM TRULY BLESSED BY ALL THESE AMAZING SISTER'S....i WILL ALWAYS BE HERE TO SHOW THE LOVE I FEEL FOR EACH OF YOU!!! Thank you for this beautiful comment also Jen Cundiff-Graves!!!

Jen Cundiff-Graves You make a difference every day, even when u don't know it. You have been a blessing to many... Including myself!!
I can also appreciate Nancy's post. When I first met my psych, she made statements like "well, if what you said, happened.." I got so angry... Cried and yelled at her because if they don't believe u... Who will?! Anyway... What Nancy said about working, I know that all too well. I'm still at the job I've had ( and hatred) all these years. The stress of bosses and tenants is overwhelming some days, but I do my best. My anxiety and PTSD has taken over many times and I've found myself feeling overwhelmed and having panic attacks... But I can't get any other job either around here... No one ever even calls.

We love u, Rosaura!!! You have been a friend, a sounding board, a wealth of knowledge and a very important person to so many of us in one way or another!!

I DIED MANY YEARS AGO!

I DIED MANY YEARS AGO!

If you’re looking for the girl of many years ago, stop looking she died!  If you feel you can put the fear of God into me, think again…Our God stand’s by me! 

To those who continue to think I am that scared, insecure, ashamed, little girl you once knew….Look into the mirror, it is your own reflection you will see!!

I will never go back into dark, horrible hole you put me in…I came crashing through the light!!! 

When a sister or brother reaches out to me for help, I am and will always be the power of light!  You might continue to ignore us but…

You will never be able to silence us!

Stand strong my sisters and brothers, you will never be alone!!

Rosaura Torres – Author

“Abuse Hidden Behind The Badge”

ELIZABETH NEW JERSEY PO EGBERTO COLON FIRED BECAUSE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (OIDV)

For years my sister survivor Clara Colon tried and cried her voice out to the JUSTICE SYSTEM, but instead many called her a liar, many felt she was evil, vindictive, jealous of her ex husband.

Well, it turns out that on August 13, 2015 her ex husband Egberto Colon Jr, beat his girlfriend who, is in critical condition...I would be a liar if I did not say how angry and ashamed I am of Elizabeth New Jersey Police Department and those who were suppose to help and support her.  Many other survivors attacked and called her a liar but...I refused to follow there lead.  I and will always stand by my sister survivor Clara Colon....I will always stand by all my sister survivors.

God bless you Clara, we are proud of your bravery.  

With love and the utmost respect,

Author Rosaura Torres

Clara Balcacer-Colon

2 hrs ·

NEW ALERT********************************************

I AM CURRENTLY IN HIDING AWAY FROM MY HOME IN MANAHAWKIN, NJ.....

..On August 13, 2015 Sgt. Egberto Colon Jr. of the Elizabeth Police Dept was arrested by his own department for Domestic Violence on another victim. (Undisclosed name).....I am Clara Colon his first and only victim that for the past 5 years has been writing and explaining the dangerous of my ex. As of today, 8\19\2015 my family has not been informed nor warned of this matter, Under the New Jersey State Guidelines of Officer Involved Domestic Violence and the ex wife who still under my divorce decree has a protection order against him. They have violated my rights as a victim of Egberto Colon Jr. by not warning us of his arrest and suspension from Elizabeth Police Dept. Society he is suspended without pay. My alimony and child support will be nothing. I will not stay quite any longer waiting for Union County Prosecutors office nor the Elizabeth Police Dept. I want everyone to help me get this story exposed. Now their is another victim that is under critical condition with the rage and violence of this man. Society remember they called me crazy and lair for coming out. Now I ask for help make sure our family is keep safe. Officer Sgt. Egberto Colon was recently awarded a promotion for his excellent work and his domestic violence and molestation of his own daughters. Please do not allow the Elizabeth Police dept 1 Police Plaza Elizabeth NJ 908-558-2000 and his Attorney Aston Thomas continue to cover up his man criminal and dangerous mind.

I am safe as of now, but i need to go home and make sure my life and lives of my children is safe. He is now in most dangerous state of mind, i will not be a victim of his nor will I allow him to murder us.

That Night at the Roof of the Ashram

That Night at the Roof of the Ashram

By Joel Carrion

What do you do when the love of your life, the man you thought was your soul mate, is the one that puts bruises on you?  This is not an easy and pretty story, I must warn you.  But a story it is nevertheless.  You can call me Joel.  I am a Gay American and I was deeply in love with the wrong man.   Because of love, I would have given my life for him.  This was several years ago, before it was trendy to be gay.  It was a different world.  I gave up my regular life, my friends and even my family for him.  Unfortunately, Bryan, that’s his name, never loved me.  It was all a farce and I fell for it.  He was extremely abusive physically and emotionally.  Many times I feared for my life but I always found and excuse to justify his behavior no matter how many bruises I ended up with.  

Our relationship ended horribly.  If there is an award for the worst breakup in America, we both should win it.  Bryan was a cop.  No one ever believed me when I spoke about the way he abused me.  Instead he turned the police department against me.  He portrayed himself as the victim.  The police did nothing to help me.  A few months after our breakup his house caught on fire and he blamed me.  I was arrested.  People I didn’t even know testified against me.  The police never even interviewed me.  They took his word as gospel.  They threatened to punish my family if I did not accept the charges they had levied against me.  He had left me homeless and penniless.  Now I was facing a prison sentence.  All I was guilty of was to have loved someone so much and so passionately, that it consumed my soul.

I was threatened with a thirty year sentence if I did not accept what they wanted.  They never spoke to anyone on my behalf.  I stood alone in that courthouse, guilty of loving but nothing else.  Being a gay man crying abuse at that time in Florida was not anything worthy of anyone’s attention.  I had no family or friends.  I had alienated all of them because Bryan wanted me all alone.  I stood alone, and at the end, a judge that would not even read my accusations or letters from the two friends that believed me, sentenced me to two and half years in prison.  Bryan sat in that courtroom smirking.  When I was lead away with nothing left but only the clothes I had on, I looked at him and smiled.  He looked at me and for one mili-second I saw a glimpse of remorse.  He looked away, because he knew I was guilty of only loving him.

My atonement never came.  I’m still waiting and perhaps even searching for it.  A few years before I had come across a copy of Eat, Pray, Love.  It belonged to one of my employees and one day as I was inspecting her work area I saw it.  I guess she was reading it in her spare time.  Normally I would have reprimanded her for it, but for some strange reason, I began to read it.  For a few days I found myself going to her desk at the end of the day to read a little bit more.  I read the Italy part from her book.  Now I found myself in prison.  I won’t waste your time with the nuances of a day in prison, but I can tell you it is just boring so I decided to start reading.  I decided I will read as much as I can.  The first book I picked up was Eat, Pray, Love.   It took me one week to read the book.  I’m a pretty fast reader, but I could not just read and move on to the next section.  I had to read and re-read every sentence because it applied to me so much.  Elizabeth Gilbert was talking to me.  She had written this book, especially India, for me!

India resonated with me so much.  I was in that ashram.  My prison had become my ashram.  I began to meditate as much as I could without actually trying.  Prison is a very loud place full of distractions, yet my meditation consisted of sitting on my assigned bunk to read my book.  While I’m reading India, I was transported there.  Nothing could distract me from my reading.  That was my form of meditation, which was my peace in my new reality.  As I read, I realized that my life was in front of me in this book.  I had to let go of my shame and pride in order to be able to move forward.  As I read I understood that I was holding on to a ghost.  My Bryan was gone, he had put me away where no one could reach me, yet I was holding on to him still because I loved him.  I was living with a ghost haunting me and I could not let go.  Every day I would try to analyze our relationship and try to understand what happened.  Reading India made me understand that I had to let go.  There was no logical reason and even if there was, it didn’t matter anymore.  Eat, Pray, Love made me understand that some people come into your life to break your heart, but by breaking your heart wide open it gives you an opportunity for more love in your life.  That is almost literal from the book!  Just like Liz had a moment on the roof of the ashram, I also had an epiphany. 

It was late one night.  Lights were out but I was still reading under the security lights.  I could not stop reading and crying.  There all alone in the most negative and desolate of places imaginable, I had to face my ghost.  I imagined myself at that rooftop, just me and Bryan.  All the love I ever felt for him turned into rage.  I could feel the adrenaline flood my veins.  I could feel all the hate build up.  I was a raging animal.  I could not be stopped.  In my mind I was the right hand of God and I was there to apply divine justice to the man that had hurt me so much.  Then it happened.  For a second, I remembered how much I had loved this man.  Yes, love had shown its presence.  All the rage and hate that was burning so intense inside of me began to subside.  It was very easy for him to hurt me.  It was very easy to punch me, to shove me, to break lamps over my head, to break my ankle, to lie about me, to put me away.  I could not do it.  I could not hate him.  The fire that had started in his house and was now consuming me, started to subside.  I was not the hand of God, I was his servant.  The Universe had shown me what I needed to see.  My hate was not hate towards Bryan.  I hated myself for what happened.  I could not forgive myself that was the fire that was consuming me.  So there, in the ashram of my mind, I let go.  Just like Liz, I wished him love and light and let him go.  Now it was time to work on myself.

That was a turning point in my life.  My story goes on; perhaps someday you’ll read about it somewhere.  I wish I could tell you I was successful in forgiving myself.  

The beauty of it is that I’m still doing it.  Some days I wake up and I have no will to go on, but I still manage.  By the way, I left prison.  I did what the State required me and I don’t look back with hate.  I can’t.  I refuse to live my life based on the past.  The Universe is so beautiful.  I saw a very small glimpse of it within myself and I fell in love with it.  Regrets are the worst demons to carry around.  I had a whole troupe with me for a long time, but in India I learned that it is ok to let go.  My demons, my ghosts still visit from time to time, but I have learned to let them go and not invite them for coffee.   Thank you Liz for taking me to that ashram in India. 

I am praying for my brother survivor Joel....Justice continues to fail us.  Love you for life Joel.

Thank you for allowing me to share your story with me.  God bless you always.

THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE

THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE

As I usually do I reach out to a survivor of domestic violence by police. For months now she’s been working with internal affairs with the Philadelphia Police Department.

Zully was a bit upset when I called her yesterday and she shared with me that the sergeant from internal affairs felt they didn’t have a domestic violence case against this police officer. I personally called the Sgt. and I was amazed how the conversation went. He shared with me that there was no evidence or witnesses of domestic violence by this police officer.

I never knew that are police officers were psychiatrists and he diagnosed her with Stockholm syndrome.

Michael and I were discussing this matter when he came up with a great analogy of how the Philadelphia Police Department and many other Police Department’s throughout the  United States has been handle and continues to be handled.

Many are fans of Star Wars.  The entire concept of going to the dark side and good fighting against evil it is something that I continue to witness and see when we are trying to fight for our lives trying to receive accountability.

Many or should I say some within the police department are going to the dark side of the force.   The blue wall the code of silence affects all ranks in all police departments all over the United States.

Some within Internal affairs will not go up against another police officer at all. Many civilians think that if you put in a report with internal affairs that you’re going to get justice well think again it will not happen.

I look at our police Commissioner Ramsey as Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars he is trying to work with the community to work with his police officers but as long as there are those who are afraid to come forward and speak up and break down that blue wall all high ranking officers will always be fighting the dark side OF THE FORCE.

You feel that your officers are sharing the truth with you but they’re not. It looks to me that we will always be fighting the dark side.  No matter what we must continue to stand together.  Am I giving up, NO! 

Rosaura Torres - Author

"Abuse Hidden Behind The Badge"

SPEAKING THE TRUTH - PAST ABUSER KEITH R. SADLER AND ANTHONY SUBER

SPEAKING THE TRUTH

MANY CONTINUE TO SUFFER IN SILENCE - OIDV

Rosaura Torres suffered in silence for years.

The Northeast Philadelphia woman, 54, was married to a Philadelphia police officer who eventually ascended into the top ranks of the department. He beat, kicked and choked her for 16 years until one especially brutal beating left her with a detached retina that left her partially blind.

Throughout, she begged him to stop and threatened to report him.

"He made it very clear that no one would listen to me because of his position in the community," Torres said. "He said: 'No one's going to listen to you. They'll all say you're crazy.' And he was right."

She wrote a letter to city and police officials in 2001 to protest his promotion, citing his history of domestic abuse. He was promoted anyway.

The couple divorced in 2004.

The Daily News is not naming her ex-husband, who has since retired in Philadelphia and now works outside the city, because he was never criminally charged.

Since then, Torres has become an activist. She chronicled her experience in a 2010 book, Abuse Hidden Behind the Badge, and has periodically testified before lawmakers as a victim of police violence.

Torres never travels alone, fearful that her activism might incite her ex-husband and his supporters.

"It's horrible because you don't know who to trust, you don't know who's watching you," Torres said. "He still has power here in Philadelphia."

She added: "There is a unique injustice that takes place when the abuser is a police officer, because the people who should help you would rather protect him because of the title he holds.

POLICE WITNESS AND IGNORED

I cannot help but think of my fallen sister Justice For Tamara Seidle, we give up our legal rights our protection from abuse, trying to keep a roof over our heads and our children. 

When our abuser is a POLICE OFFICER.  Many reporters questioned "Did you have a protection order?"  When they are the main bread winner we continue to be a prisoner of their abuse. 

The video was taken down because whomever took the video showed how the police stood by as he shot her twice and then circled the car and shot her two more times. This is the first time all of this has been caught on tape and how Neptune Police Department failed our fallen sister.

I cannot hate those who damage my vision, the memory of the abuse remains with so many of us. Could they have saved Tamara Seidle or Michelle O'Connor, Crystal Brame Judson their has been so many who have been killed that, I lost count.  I share with you legal documents because, there are many like me who do dropped the protection order not because the abuse did not happen but because we are left with no other choice.

Rosaura Torres - Author
"Abuse Hidden Behind The Badge"

FORGIVING YOURSELF - SURVIVORS OF DV AND OIDV

Today is Father's Day and as I remember my father and the love I received will always continue to live with me.

I met a beautiful young women Rosalie, on Friday and she asked me “when do you forgive your abuser?”  It is not about forgiving them, it’s about forgiving yourself. 

Victims and Survivors of Domestic Violence and Police Officer Involved Domestic Violence, have and continue to blame, shame and guilt themselves for being beaten by a love in their life.  We may never be able to fix or correct the damage that has caused us but…I and Clara Colon and many more will continue to stand strong and speak out.

So I ask our Great Spirit, our God to hear my prayer.

Please dear father in heaven please forgive me for speaking out but...I know in my heart I am not nor, will I ever feel completely, trustworthy of the men who caused me permitted damage to my vision.

My children will be visiting my past abuser, the memory of my abuse has not and will not be erased. So to Keith R. Sadler and Anthony E. Suber because of your abuse and never being held accountable for the damage you caused me, OUR GOD has given me a voice to help others. The abuse you caused will continue to live on through the years. To my children, my love will always be with you.

To all the great fathers.

Rosaura Torres – Author